Chip Ambrogio Comedian, Writer, Actor, Producer

The Poet's Corner

Happiness is a Warm Baguette

What very few people know is that I  spent many summers restrained by leather harnesses and mildly sedated at an Iambic Pentameter Boot Camp for Wayward Youth that dress flamboyantly.

"I was looking for an outlet to express my rage, but I soon discovered the culottes, halter tops and eye shadow were just a one-way ticket to no where.  After being sent to Juvy for refusing to take off my Dr. Shoals in gym class, a kindly instructor took me under his wing, sponge bathed me and introduced me to the beauty of spoken word...words like... Go gets that frozen banana from the ice box and make pretend I'm Brett Farve and you hiking me the ball ..his mastery of language touched my soul and various other body parts I'm just starting to remember in therapy.

When I wrote my first poem, "Put That Thing Away; You're Scaring Me" it opened up a whole new world - one I had only seen back stage at Menudo concerts . It let me express feelings that were too complicated to act out with puppets.  Now almost 35 years later, I am still driven, usually out to a dark country road, where no one can hear my screams, to express what most people can't, won't , or chooses to delete from their Internet histories and hard drives.

So although comedy is my livelihood, I'll always have a soft spot just below my coccyx for Yeats, Shelley, Milton and all the boys from my high school swim team.

Enjoy!

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This week's selection is from Chip's newly publish collection, Bedknobs, Broomsticks and Other Things in My Night Stand.

Stupid Rules

It's a stupid rule that cub scouts can't have unsupervised sleepovers

It's a stupid rule that you only have 24 hours to return a hamster.

It's silly that Cablevison pulls the Food Channel but never Logo or Oxygen.

And what does Bobby Flay do with leftover Wienerschnitzel?

Why are there no Germans sitcoms?

Why do the mailman's fingers smell like my grandama's house coat?

Breathlessly, I wait by my pink mailbox for your big package.