Bio & Psychological Profile
I'm a stand-up comic and comedy writer, who has written for the Friar's roasts and also did a couple of essays on the Industrial Revolution. My likes are chainsaws and daisies. I'm frightened by pigeons and was once forced to tap dance at gunpoint. I believe you get out of life what you put into it; so I do nothing. I'm a born again atheist and respected Elder at The Church of Rainbows and Unicorns.
My motto is "Seize the Day" and if no one's watching other people's belongings. My fervent goal is world peace or a free subscription to SIRUS (World peace is more attainable) Lastly, I believe we're all brothers under the skin, but try peeling it off, and everyone looks at you like you're nuts or something!
I'm currently working on a pilot Flush. I have opened up for Gilbert Gottfried and any other comic willing to buy me dinner. I am a partner in Productively Funny an interactive seminar company that uses humor to improve sales, build better teams. motivate employees and improve communication and teach you valuable life skills like pretending to walk against the wind or pantomiming being stuck in a box. I support many charitable causes, at least that's what I tell the IRS. I am currently chairing the Committee for the ethical treatment of animal crackers. Hey we got the box changed, Smart Ass!
"He's the poor man's Paul Giamatti!" - Paul Giamatti's Accountant
"His is a story of never giving up, pushing ahead, despite a lack of talent or God-given ability towards what we all anticipate will be a tragic end. I told him to stop it!" - Chip's Mom
"He could of done so much more with his life! I set him up with a job in the DPW and he threw it back in my face!" - Sister Marjorie Fish, High School Guidance Counsellor
"When I watch him on stage, I think Carlin, Pryor, Kinison...yeah, there's this overpowering stench of death!" - Industry Insider and part time mortician
A fat, lazy, directionless smart ass!" - Willie Cando, Life Coach, Cando Industries